Snow Makes You Stupid

Stupidity is running amok! I blame the snow.

We went skiing last January, before I found out that I was pregnant with Lex, and after which I washed and dried my snow pants and then hung them up in the laundry room, where they stayed until last summer when I got tired of looking at them and finally put them someplace really clever. And when I say someplace really clever, what I really mean is I have no idea where they are. I don't know why I didn't just hang them in my closet. Actually I do. My closet is for clothing. Not snow clothing, which is entirely different.

I don't own any boots. I live in Central Ohio, where there is rarely any considerable snow, and whenever I got skiing, I just rent boots along with the skis, so I don't usually need any. Except now that there is snow, I would like to have some. And just in case you were wondering, once there is already six inches of snow on the ground, it's too late to buy boots. I've been to two stores now, and one store didn't have any left in my size at all, and the other store had exactly one pair of hideous snow boots in my size. Not only were they hideous, but they were white. How, exactly, is a person going to be able to keep their boots white with all the slush and muck going on? Have you seen my floor near the front door? It's not white anymore, try as I may to keep all the slush outside our house. Or at least on the door mat.

And finally, Kevin, my dear husband, probably suffering from cabin fever induced by the six inches of snow outside (either that or he was driven crazy by all the media hype about how we are all going to perish because of The Blizzard of 2010), decided to make some mimosas the other morning. While opening the bottle of champagne, he got distracted (answering one of Connor's several rapid-fire questions) and the cork flew out of the bottle, hitting him square in the face. You'll shoot your eye out! And you don't even need a Red Rider BB Gun. Actually, he was wearing his glasses and he is fine. His glasses didn't even break. Connor was started, however, and cried a good bit. But he's fine now too. Lex opened his eyes for a second, and then slept on, blissfully unaware.

We checked the bottle, and the typical Contents Under Pressure/Point Away From Face When Opening warning was absent. Should we sue for causing emotional distress to our two year old?

Did I mention that we have a good SIX inches of snow?

Oh, I did?