Newtonian Physics and Behavioral Psychology

Kevin and I have a few theories about how people work. We've been formulating them for years now.

The first one is based on Newton's first law of motion. A person is going to keep doing whatever it is that they are doing with life until some force acts upon them. This is true in both big life matters and small day-to-day affairs. You will watch TV until someone turns it off, your show is over, or you have to go and switch the laundry. You will keep working at your current job until you get fired, get fed up, find something better, or have to move.

The second theory is based in behavioral psychology, and it has to do with pleasure/pain. Often, the force that causes people to change their behavior is directed by the natural quest for pleasure and the avoidance of pain. Consider eating a second helping of cake. It tastes good (pleasure) but adds calories to your diet (pain). Most people unknowingly weigh the pleasure vs. pain aspect of each and every decision. And everyone has a different level of tolerance for pain.

The last theory has to do with how to speak to people to get the results that you want. We do this all the time with Connor. Instead of saying, "I'm not going to leave you today," I try to say "I'm going to stay with you all day." In the first case, when I say "I'm not going to leave you today," Connor tends to hear only the "leave you today" part, which is the exact opposite message of what I'm trying to convey. So if you want a baby to walk, tell them to walk. If you say, "Don't run," they will hear the word "run" and it triggers the run command in their brain. Surprisingly, this is true with adults, too.

How did I get onto this topic? Tonight I read an interesting article about how to be a better parent, but I think that it could apply to life in general. And everything I read seemed to fit in with my view of how people behave.

The exercise to make your life better is as follows:

Ask yourself the following questions:

1. When am I happiest?

2. What part of my normal day routinely causes me suffering?

After careful consideration, make small changes to your normal day that enhance the happiness found in question number 1, and reduce the suffering found in question number 2. Each small change will add up to making you happier.

I'm going to have to think about these questions for a bit before I can do this, because I don't have a ready answer for either of them.