...and the award for...

Last night was the Academy Awards. You know, the Oscars.

We had a Red Carpet Oscar Viewing Party. You know, any excuse for a party, right?

It was the hottest party on the block. Definitely the most smokin' party on the block.

Literally.

Right after 6:00 PM, right after our first guests arrived, I set the kitchen on fire while making fried ravioli.

I was using Giada De Laurentiis' recipe for fried ravioli. But Food Network Barbie, as I like to call her, let me down. She didn't mention anything about needing a fire extinguisher. Fortunately, I keep one under the kitchen sink anyways.

I had started heating the oil before the door bell rang. Then, after I greeted Wendy and her family, when I had about half of the ravioli breaded and ready to go into the pan, I noticed that the oil was getting very hot. So, I turned it down, but when I added the first little breaded ravioli, the oil was still too hot. Or something. Because that's when the blaze started.

It seemed huge and it seemed like it took me forever to turn around, get the extinguisher out of the cupboard and turn back to the fire. I swear I must have been moving in slow motion, but I guess that was just my perception of the situation. I got the pin out of the fire extinguisher, and I remembered that Kevin had told me in the past to aim before using a fire extinguisher, because they only have like 20 seconds worth of chemical release in them. So I really thought about where to shoot before I pressed the trigger. Then I heard Ted tell me to go ahead, so I did. I was going to empty that tank, but then I heard Ted tell me that I could stop. So I did. It turns out that 20 seconds is a really long time when everything is moving in slow motion.

Then I wanted to ask where the kids where, if we needed to call 9-1-1, whether or not the fire was out, if we needed a new stove or new microwave or new house, but I couldn't make my mouth work. I had used up all my brain power, and all I could do was stand there. But then the fire alarms went off and I noticed all the smoke, and decided that we needed to get the kids and go outside.

Red Carpet Fire Drill

Once we were outside and Kevin and Ted had made sure the fire was really out and taken the smoking pan outside and opened the windows to air out the smoke, I decided that we were going to order pizza. Thank you, Pizza Hut!

...and the award for best use of a fire extinguisher goes to...me!

Because it was still a lovely warm evening, we sent the kids out into the backyard to play with the sandbox and some golf clubs, and Wendy and Ted helped us start to clean up the mess. You know, while we waited for the pizza to arrive.

And the Award for Best, Most Helpful Guests EVER goes to Wendy and Ted!


The fire extinguisher left behind a white, powdery substance that you can see covering the stove top, except where the pan had been sitting. We used a shop vac to clean most of that up.

The black soot was mostly removed by using a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.

I don't think this picture does the mess justice. It was worse in real life.

Everything is mostly cleaned up. I think the only things that were ruined were food. I'm not entirely done taking the microwave apart for cleaning the inside, but I think it still works fine. We shall see about that, and about the stainless steel pan I was using. Getting the powder out of the toaster is going to be a little bit tricky, too.

I'm so thankful that no one was hurt. I got a few small burns on my hands, but none of them even blistered, so that is definitely a huge win.

Kevin asked me if I saw my life flash before my eyes, and the answer is "no." The only thing I saw was how huge the fire raged so quickly.

Kevin also told me that he was happy that things happened exactly the way that they were supposed to. Everything went according to our "if there is a fire plan."

So the moral of the story is: keep a fire extinguisher in the kitchen. And some Mr. Clean magic erasers in the house. Oh, and buy a deep fry thermometer.