You can't have your cake and eat it too

Today I read The Mermaid Chair by Sue Monk Kidd, and yesterday I watched the movie Match Point. Both address the issues of what happens when one cheats on their spouse. In the book, the husband finds out about his wife with another man. In the movie, though, the wife never finds out about his affair. The emotional chaos is extraordinary in both, though.

I'm feeling distressed. But, I think I finally understand what they mean when they say that you can't have your cake and eat it, too. I always understood it on a simple level, like if you ate it, it would be gone. But, I always had problems with that explanation, because most of the time when I think of eating cake, I feel fulfilled by the cake, and by eating it, feel as though I "had" it in a satisfactory way.

It seems different to me, now, though. Like either eating the cake or having it is so passionate that it destroys the cake, and then there is nothing left to eat (or have).

I can't seem to wrap my head around the fact that you can't know what it would do to your life if you cheated on your spouse and know what it is like to be faithful to them for your entire life at the same time. But the truth is, you can't have it both ways. It's simple enough, but for some reason it just seems so unclear.

Maybe I have some sort of empathy for the cake.