In which we go to a wedding and I get to wear a sari

Kevin and Ashish became friends in college.  Ashish was a groomsmen when Kevin and I got married.  When Ashish was planning to marry Shruthi, we were very happy to be invited to the ceremony.  It was the first Indian wedding we had been invited to, and we had no idea what to expect.  But we had a wonderful fun time!

Here are Kevin and I during the Baraat Procession.

In case you aren't familiar with the Baraat, this is the time when the groom is paraded around and his friends and family dance in celebration.

There was a horse-drawn carriage and live drummers.  It was very exciting.



Everyone was dancing around, and even Ashish got down for a bit.  Yes, he is holding a coconut.  It was very important, but I'm not an expert, so I'm still not sure what it meant.

Once the Baraat Procession was over, the bride's family greeted Ashish and made all sorts of offerings.  My favorite part was when they opened an umbrella over his head to shield him from the sun and rose petals fell down from inside the umbrella onto his head.

Um, I just love all the sarees.  They were all so beautiful.

Did you know that the Hindu wedding ceremony is conducted in Sanskrit?  Kevin and I didn't realize that until we were there.  But fortunately there was a wedding program that explained everything in English for us so that we could sort of follow along.

Another thing is that this wedding ceremony is hours long.  And the entire family is involved up on the mantap.  (Which at first I thought was called the manTRAP, which would be very appropriate, but alas, I was mistaken.)  Everyone else is free to mill about and snack and catch up with old friends.  There was a very nice snack bar for us to enjoy.

The most incredible thing to me, however, was how much of the ceremony took place without the bride.  We started the wedding festivities with the Baraat, which the bride does not paticipate in.  (Nor her family, it seemed.)  Then, more than half of the ceremony takes place between the groom and the bride's parents.  Finally, the bride's family leaves to go fetch the bride.  When this happens, the groom is seated alone behind a white sheet.  He does not watch her walk down the aisle.  When she is first seated next to him, the sheet is moved so that it separates them.  There are more ceremonial elements that take place, and then finally, the bride and groom face each other with the sheet in between.



They play a game.  Both the bride and groom have a handful of rice and flower petals.  As soon as the sheet is dropped, the first one to pelt the other in the face with the rice is going to be the one in the marriage who always gets the last word.

Come to think of it, there was a lot of rice being thrown around during the ceremony.  Everyone was throwing rice at everyone else, and it was stuck in all sorts of people's hair.



Anyways, after the bride and groom get to see each other, there are more ceremonial things to be done.  The groom's family gave the bride another veil to welcome her to the family, and the groom gives the bride a necklace.

They also play another game.  A big vase is filled with water, and a single ring is dropped inside.  But the opening to the vase is very small.  Both the bride and groom must put their arms into the vase and compete to see who will catch the ring.  The winner gets the ring, and is said to be the one who wears the pants in the marriage.



Here, the bride and groom take seven steps together:



I don't know if you can tell from the photo, but the groom's scarf is tied to the bride's sari, and their hands are tied together, too.

They also walk around a fire seven times.  As soon as they are done with that, they are married!

At this point, there is a short break in the festivities, and everyone went to change their clothes.  It seemed to me that all the American women went and took off their sarees (me included) and put on cocktail dresses.  All the Indian women seemed to change from what I would call day-time sarees (bright colors) to evening sarees (more jewel tones, with more jewels on them).

We then had a cocktail reception with an small buffet.  During this time the groom was with all the male family members of the new combined family, and the bride was with the females.  We guests were left to eat, drink and make merry.

After a while, we went to the dinner reception, and before dinner there were a lot of blessings and speeches from various family members and friends.  There were also a lot of performances.



Many groups of the bride's female relatives and friends did choreographed dance routines, which were spectacular.  I would love to dance like that.  In fact, watching Indian dance routines and learning how to do them on You Tube is now officially on my list of things to do.


The bride wore a pink sari for the reception.  It was so so beautiful.

After that, there was a huge dinner buffet.  I put a scoop of everything on my plate, but I had no idea what any of it was.  Kevin tried reading the tags on the food, but it was no help.  All we knew was that everything was vegetarian.  I ate everything, and everything was very tasty.  But spicy.  When I was done, I was sure that I could have breathed fire.  Like a dragon.

And then a DJ started to play music and the dance floor got really crowded.  Kevin and I went to bed around midnight, and I think we were some of the first to tire out and leave the party.  I know it went on for hours longer.

Congratulations, Ashish and Shruthi!